Iraqi Refugee Urged to Trade Sex for Food, Cash

By Dominique Soguel

WeNews correspondent

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

An Iraqi refugee woman in Syria cannot, by law, take local work. But her U.N. assistance check doesn't cover living costs and she doesn't want a "pleasure marriage" to help her survive. Her children are so unhappy she's ready to give them up.

old DAMASCUS, Syria (WOMENSENEWS)--Before she came here and wound up depending on U.N. refugee aid, Tahira al Sayed lived in Iraq and had other problems.

There she endured the repudiation of her family for marrying a Kurd and the rejection of her in-laws because she was an Arab before the fall of Saddam Hussein. She survived domestic violence at the hands of her husband.

During the sectarian violence of 2006, her husband said local militias had threatened him so the couple fled to Jordan and then Syria. Less than a year later, her husband disappeared, leaving her with four children, the eldest now age 10, the youngest 5.

She turned to the Maktab Al Khomeini office--known for assisting Shia war widows-- in Damascus for help. The group advised her to get a mut'ah, or "pleasure marriage," she said. That way she would have a male guardian to fend for her and her children.

The contract that backs up this pleasure marriage--in which sex is exchanged for a mutually agreed upon time frame and dowry--skips secular law but is considered legitimate in Iran and enjoys the endorsement of many Shia clerics across the region.

At the time she received the advice al Sayed was still married (she's divorced now) so she didn't pursue the advice. "If this marriage isn't registered in court, it's prostitution," al Sayed said. "In Iraq, mut'ah is considered halal, but men will not accept it for female relatives because deep down they see it as haram, as prostitution."

Her landlady encouraged her to enter a "benefits" relationship, where she would sleep with a man in exchange for his protection without any contractual obligation. She declined and soon after the landlady's brother tried to rape her.

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