Thanksgiving Recipe Guaranteed to Make the Day

Thursday, November 23, 2000

Women are working working working at paid jobs in this economic boom. And hurray for our economic independence. But, by the way, who is doing the shopping, cooking and cleaning for this holiday? Here are some ingredients to lighten the load.

(WOMENSENEWS)--The staff and writers for Women's eNews have much to be thankful for today: healthy children and grandchildren, adequate income, good or at least improving relationships with loved ones, as well as the thrill of working on a journalistic endeavor that makes us proud of our profession.

We will all have the day off; nevertheless, it will be a demanding day for most us, and we know our readers are extraordinarily busy too, so this essay will be short.

Stop for a moment and say out loud three times: I have done enough. I have done my best. I have done enough.

Now, one more time.

I have done enough. I have done my best. I have done enough.

Yes, some of us--a handul--are coasting through life with few responsibilities, but overall, women are working more hours for pay outside the home and about the same number of hours without pay inside the home--and the hours climb during the holiday season.

Therefore, in the great scheme of things, it does not matter if you forget the sour cream to put in the mashed potatoes, or fail to make the stuffing recipe one relative or another prefers. Nor does it matter if the store-bought pie is a bit too sweet or the turkey is underdone or overdone. It does not even matter if the gravy is lumpy or the soup too salty.

Thanksgiving is not about failure and it is not about falling short of the marks we and others set for ourselves as mothers, sisters, daughters, family members.

It's about families coming together--and any definition of family will do, even an ad hoc family arranged for the day. It's about realizing that no family--ad hoc or longstanding--is without problems and pain, but we get through this life through offering and giving love and support.

It's about acknowledging: We have done enough. We have done our best. We have done enough.

Even if we are in a homeless shelter. Even if we cannot afford a turkey. Even if we are in the middle of a contentious divorce. Even if we are being battered and have not rescued ourselves as yet. Even if a loved one is ill or estranged. Even if the kids refuse to help with the dishes or openly express their wishes to be a member of the nice, apparently functional family down the street.

Yes, we are tired, stressed and sometimes cross. We are also glad, proud and grateful--yes, grateful--for what we have accomplished for others and ourselves.

We have done enough. We have done our best. We have done enough.

Savor the moment.

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