Students: Time is Ripe to Add Gender to Gun Debate

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It’s time to listen to students. Across the country, teenagers have walked out of classes, stood in silence, and delivered stirring speeches calling out their elders for failing to prevent their schools from becoming shooting ranges for raging men. On Saturday, they’ll protest in Washington, DC, with adult allies among the throngs in the capitol and at hundreds of student-organized satellite rallies nationwide.

High schoolers have been fierce and articulate in their unequivocal demand that they attend safe schools, but recognizing the role of gender in mass murders, like the one at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, is critical to accomplish this goal.

We certainly must applaud these young people for calling out the NRA—“Our lives are worth more than your wealth”—as well as outing the politicians whose coffers the gun lobby has lined. They know the NRA is about men and money.

During my many years working to transform societal ideas about masculinity and manhood, it has become undeniable that the gender of the shooter—almost always male—is as essential in the gun debate, as are stricter laws and mental health screenings. I’d welcome hearing high school students’ thoughts in a cross-generational dialogue that included how we raise boys and how we navigate the culture of violence in which we live.

Those of us who are involved in the 40-year old pro-feminist anti-violence men’s movement have always viewed shootings, like Parkland, Florida, through a gendered lens. Men’s mass murders at schools (or houses of worship, or movie theaters) need to be understood in the larger context of our culture of violence, including, of course, men’s disproportionate enactment of that violence.

In the national conversation about men’s murder rampages, nonviolent men are an underutilized resource. If this is a #MenStopHurting moment, then multi-generational men can be a positive force, leaving the sidelines as mute bystanders by becoming outspoken agents of social change.

Among our efforts must be cultivating men’s emotional intelligence. Is there anyone who would deny the value of educating boys to examine their inner lives; to encourage young men to talk about their feelings? This is where the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) can come in. Awakened by the piercing call to action students have sounded, I urge them to pressure Congress to fund the CDC to conduct a nationwide study on how we socialize boys—and push for a comprehensive, multi-year study, perhaps with Head Start students in the pilot group. The results will no doubt yield a bounty of data to help reshape our understanding of boys and men, and ultimately transform masculinity.

With their unflagging commitment to speak truth to power coupled with innate organizing know-how, I feel optimistic that students will incorporate gender into their campaign. They very well may be the ones to help realize a dream I’ve had since the Columbine massacre nearly 20 years ago: a national “Men Against Men’s Violence” campaign. Or, put more positively, a “Campaign to Transform Manhood.”

The day after Adam Lanza murdered his mother, 20 six and seven year-olds, and six staff at Sandy Hook elementary school in 2012, women launched “Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense.” This was a crucial step. Isn’t it time we launched a similar dads and men’s organization that includes gender in its mission?

Students, keep up the pressure to ensure legislators pass assault weapons bans. Demand they raise the age requirement to purchase firearms. Insist on funding for mental health screenings. But please don’t forget to press for research dollars and training initiatives on how we raise boys.

Use your burgeoning activist savvy to engage your fathers, brothers, uncles, single men, gay men, men of color, indigenous men, white men, male coaches, teachers, principals, and clergy, to question male privilege and challenge men to chart a new course in their lives—not just in the gun violence debate but in conversations about respecting women and girls, as well as themselves. In the process, you will help accelerate the transformation of conventional masculinity into an openhearted expression of masculinities.

The list of potential allies to join the movement you’ve ignited is long. In the end though, students are leading the way. For the rest of us, it’s time to listen.

Rob Okun, a Women’s eNews ‘21 Leaders for the 21st Century‘ 2018 Honoree, is also editor of Voice Male magazine and a member of the board of North America Men Engage, a gender justice organization. A new edition of his book, VOICE MALE: The Untold Story  of the Profeminist Men’s Movement was published earlier this year. He can be reached at

3 thoughts on “Students: Time is Ripe to Add Gender to Gun Debate

  1. Public images of a man with a gun in his hand are more commonplace than public images of a man taking care of a child. An exaggeration? I think not. Rob Okun describes a reality far too much of the media coverage of mass shootings ignores, intentionally. It’s not a pretty picture. It’s a story many of us in this country don’t want to read about, turn our eyes away from, and stuff deep down inside ourselves. Guns in the hands of men is so normalized that we might as well be talking about cars, or cell phones, or a laptop. Guys and guns, men and war, violence against women, and men, and children. The culture of male violence is a world health crisis that impedes humanity’s future everywhere. And men continue to ignore it at our peril.

  2. Yes, but why are men more violent? We simply cannot just lay this completely at the feet of social conditioning. There are also biological reasons – through an evolutionary process men who are more violent have been rewarded with more resources (including women) and power. It has become ingrained genetically, and this is not to excuse the issue, but we must account for this as a large part of the reason. I get the impression that castration is what is *actually* being called for instead of honestly dealing with the ‘darker’ aspects of masculinity. Women are not entirely innocent here also – there is evidence that violent men are rewarded with more sexual partners in America. Perhaps reassessing how we reward men for being violent is a more productive approach.

  3. Dear Sam Melton. Think testosterone is the causal toxic substance ? My wonderful 66 yr husband has plenty but he is a gentle man. I’m crazy about him.