Robert Rector, thinker from the right-wing Heritage Foundation who claims responsibility for the 1996 welfare reform, says that one of his goals was to encourage women to marry. Women have not rushed to the altar in the ensuing four years, so now he has some other suggestions, including a $2,000 bonus for “high risk” young women–those who grew up poor or in thewrong neighborhoods–who marry and have a child, in that order.

Earth to Bob–it’s not about the money. Try promoting a cash bonus for marriageable men without previous restraining orders or arrests for violent crimes if they:

  • Routinely clean up the kitchen after eating dinner with loved ones-this includes washing the back as well as front of the plates and the top of the stove. (Bonus dollars available if they shop and cook the dinner too-must include main course plus vegetable. Dessert optional.)
  • Spend Saturdays at the Laundromat doing at least six loads. Must separate thewhites from the colors. Listening to game on radio okay, as long as socks arematched.
  • Take care of a woman when she feels ill. (Bonus dollars for knowing the differences among commercial pain relief products and the dangers of over-reliance on antibiotics.)
  • Read a book about how to be a better lover, husband or father.

Of course, Bob, we would all have to worry about dishwashing fraud, but it might be worth the risk.