This is a piece about Love.
Giving Thanks Love.
We dated for a handful of months, just a few. Maybe three or four – maybe five, tops – and on Thanksgiving in ’92, he asked me to marry him.
When we first met – had our first date – he told me in no uncertain terms, that he would never get married again, that he had already tried that, done that, and it wasn’t for him…marriage, that is. “Nah, not my thing.” It was our first date, so marriage wasn’t on my mind, but a second glass of sauvignon blanc was.
He got down on his knees, and I thought he was looking for a contact lens because he would, you know, very often lose one – or both. So I got down on my knees and he looked at me and asked, “Whatcha doing?” and I said, ‘I’m helping you” and with that he asked: “Okay, well, will you help me for the rest of my life?”
He wasn’t looking for his lens.
He was looking for me.
“You betcha,” I said.
How lucky am I?
My husband is a hero, a super-hero, albeit a cranky, messy, chaotic – with a side of ADD – hero. And marriage is not easy. Not one bit. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s a piece of cake; they’ll be separated or divorced in no time. Marriage is hard work; it’s coming to terms, it’s saying no, it’s kicking and screaming and finding your way back into each other arms, tentatively, at first. It’s sticking to your guns with a teeny – kindly – little bit of lee-way. It’s opening your heart to the point of bursting a vein. It’s allowing yourself to be exactly one hundred percent who you are without wearing a stitch of make-up, or cover-up; without any masks. It’s being the truest human being you can be in front of another human being. It about intimacy; no, not sex, intimacy – letting someone into your soul, your truth, and seeing the scars and all the flaws and messiness and sharing the deep dark ugly stuff, the stuff you wanna hide – keep away from sunlight – and know they’re gonna stay; yeah, that kind of intimacy. And if you’re lucky, really, really lucky – they will love you – yes you – 100 percent in return. The naked, eyebrow-less girl standing right in front of them, because they saw the beauty in you before you ever did.
They saw it, they fell in love with that beam, that laser, that spark in you, and even on the worst days, the hard days, the messy chaotic cranky painful days, they lean in and kiss you, and they tell you in a whisper that will give you crazy-cakes goosebumps, that you – YOU – make the world spin.
That’s what i’m talking about.
Nothing trumps it.
I wish you all love.
I am so grateful to share my life here on Women’s eNews.